


despair

by tchouli



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Broken Heart, Crying, Despair, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tchouli/pseuds/tchouli
Summary: Takes place after the events in s5e13 Return 0





	despair

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after the events in s5e13 Return 0

Despair, like an ocean’s tide rushing upon a beach, both engulfed and drained him as gut wrenching sobs took hold once more and his body convulsed under the onslaught to the point where he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stop the tears. Harold tried, as much as he could, to curl up in a ball, to hold his aching sides and ride it out. His head hurt. Everything hurt. He couldn’t stop thinking about those last moments on the roof. He didn’t want to live without John. He just wanted to die. 

Harold had caused this. He _knew_ that. Samaritan had planned to end the world as they knew it, to become Orwell’s “Big Brother”. But Harold was ultimately responsible for the end of his own world. A vicious cycle of thoughts kept running through his head. “ _If I hadn’t made the Machine, then Samaritan wouldn’t exist and John wouldn’t have died; but if I hadn’t made the Machine, I wouldn’t have met John_.” Over and over the refrain repeated itself like some non-musical earworm. “ _Why_?" He moaned through his sobs again and again. 

Much later when his tears finally abated, Harold, exhausted and worn, uncurled his tortured body. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind of all thoughts so that he could sleep. As he drifted off, Harold hoped and prayed that this time he just wouldn’t wake up; that he could finally die from his broken heart.


End file.
